Hunting

This picture is perfect.  Exactly what you would expect from the Shaw boys.  Andrew and the dogs doing what they do best.  Kevin left, Ryan, Nash, Shasta, Duke, Andrew and Al.  This hunt was at Muddy Road Outfitters which is here in Benson.  I think I would actually really like to go sometime.

thankful

Is life as easy as it seems?  I have been around family that has had a lot of life-threatening health problems and a lot of big decisions and heart ache.  I think of my life and how simple it seems and minor my problems seem to be. I pray for them and am thankful for my problems that seem so much easier to bear.

We found out another bit of good news this week.  We received a letter from the Miracle Fund saying we were accepted.  Which means that private donors will be funding our In Vitro and we will be able to get that anytime before next December.  This has a good chance of meaning that we will have a baby for Christmas next year. I have to take a week off of work in order to get it done which is the only tricky part in the process.

I also graduated officially on Friday yay yay yay!.

P.S. I love my iphone.  Pic is of Anna who sat there for about 5 minutes playing on it.  Hope she washed her hands. 

Moving Ahead

We finally have been approved for adoption.  They didn't even tell us though, I found out because I was searching through the profiles on the LDS website.  You would think they would have said something.  I am very happy to find out either way and know that it will all happen when it is supposed to.  If you would like to see our listing you can go to it at https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/25869482/contactUs.jsf. 

I feel my vulnerability creeping up on me a little bit, but I am scared to let meself get too excited or get my hopes up too much.  Every time I see my phone ring with an unknown number I just hope for a quick second, but I just remembered that they would be calling Andrew not me.

I am super excited at this time because I have started running again.  I forgot how much I really loved it!  I know wierd, who likes running.  I started a little over a week ago and have already gone several times and I am so happy to continue.  Unfortunately I started when they days are the shortest ever and I really have to squeeze it in when the sun is still up.  Oh, and when the air isn't freezing.   I am hoping to run a half marathon this summer with Carillisa...wish me luck!  (p.s.  only if I'm not pregnant, but we will continue just in case) 

Cliche-Happiness is a choice.

Happiness is a choice.  This cliche statement is nothing new to anyone.  This however has become a truth that I currently strive to live by.  I feel that prayers and careful mind set has caused this to be the case.  I have some challenges in my life that could be hard to handle.  I made a very conscious choice that I was not going to let them be challenges anymore.  I said "NO!".  One challenge gone.  I no longer can get my feelings hurt, or get offended.  I don't have to live dreading certain circumstances or holidays.  One conquering of a challenge led to the happiness in many other aspects of my life.  It also led to the confidence to say NO to other challenges.  I can honestly say that I am completely happy.  Is it perfect, no...but I am happy still. 

Proof that it is not a new thing :D

One fine Chica :D

WOW...what a day.

Wow, today was quite a day.  I had a student that fell on his way to school and got a bit of a gash on his eye.  He came in saying it still really hurt and he wasn’t feeling well. I tried to continue thinking he would get over it.  I made faces at him a little to try and cheer him up and get his mind off it, but he wasn't budging.  Normally he would smile despite his most desperate attempts to keep a straight face. He eventually got up to help with his classroom task and as soon as he did he threw up all over.  He started out throwing up in the garbage and for some reason moved to the floor.  Poor kid started crying and I pulled him outside the room and let him sit away from the puke and all the kids.  Lucky his Mom was here in the school and I sent him to find her.  He was able to sit with her while his Dad came to get him. 

At lunch I had to pick up some things for the fall social with all the teachers and didn’t get back in time to really eat my lunch before I had to call the kids in.  I tried to eat it during my prep and while I was grading some papers….of course I did it.  My nice tall glass of Stephen’s Hot Chocolate spill right into my lap the reality of what happened was slowly soaking in as the hot chocolate quickly soaked my entire lap.  I held my coat in front of me as I walked to pick up my kids and showed them what happened when they got back.  I tried the best I could to keep them busy while I tried to clean up.  As for right now, I’m ending this journal entry and going home to shower.  Looking forward to tomorrow.

Blast From the Past

My best friends, great time at the Manti Pageant.

Week at a Glance

Monday October 3rd, 2011
Mondays are usually my crazy days, but having a short day today I had to cram more stuff into less time.  I didn't mind too much because I am to be starting SEP's (Parent Teacher Conferences) this afternoon.  There are really so many acronyms in this business I don't think anyone knows what they all stand for.  I feel really well prepared for the SEP's everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous or overwhelmed and I really am not at all.  I guess having years in the Title business where I had to work with complete strangers and really beefed up my customer service skills I feel confident meeting new people.  I have always felt that this portion of teaching wouldn't be hard for me.  Many people have mentioned that working with parents can be the worst part, but I think that I am actually pretty good at working with people and know how to keep them happy.  I have prepared for this SEP all positive comments with the kids and parents.  I have simple printouts with their grades.  I have put them all together in a little paper folder with the kids name on the paper.  I have done everything I planned to do and have cute stories on the wall that the kids wrote, so I think they are going to be fun :D.

Wednesday October 4th, 2011
I feel like SEP's went really well.  My only concern with them is that I was getting done fairly quickly, they took about 10 minutes.  There was only 15 allotted so I wasn't too far off, but I didn't want parents to feel like they didn't get much out of it and wasn't worth their time.  I apologized to a few about it, but they didn't seem to mind at all so I hope that was true across the board.  It really was very fun to meet all of their parents and get to know them better.  A lot of nice, fun people.  I really appreciated some that asked what they could do to help me, that was really nice to hear.  :D

A few things I wanted to note after talking to a few parents:

C: Needs a lot of positive reinforcement, has conflicting values at home and encouragement at school could really help guide in the right direction.  Very intuitive and sweet, really really avoid punishment or cross instruction, will not work and be a bad choice to get him to act appropriately.

K:Needs to be pushed and given a time-limit, any extra time or a lack of "pressure" leads to a lack of focus and therefore wrong answers and incomplete assessments.  Needs to be encouraged and taught how to finish things on her own without help.

B:Lack of motivation to achieve. May do well with a competition involved, and maybe some extra incentives along the way to give him some kind of motivation.  Intrinsic is not there yet ;D. 

L: Really is a good student, parents trying to help with english at home and seems to be a good support for him.  Needs help staying focused needs time outside to run and stretch.  Also doesn't seem to have much motivation for doing well.

Thursday October 4th, 2011
Today was a good day.  I tried to give a test today instead of tomorrow to try and break things up a bit with them and make sure that they didn't get tested out and felt confident with them.  I also read the phonics portion out loud to especially help the ESL students and make sure they heard what each word was supposed to sound like.  I haven't graded them yet today but we will see if shorting them a day was worth it.
I also felt that I had some helpful problem management between two students.  We had a sit down and I tried to you a you - me type conversation and we discussed what we could do to make the situation better.  After talking both felt better and I gave them a smile and small hug and they left happy and back to normal. 

I felt a little unorganized and feel that I haven't been able to quite catch up this week.  The fact that I'm writing in my journal is amazing.  I usually type up a daily plan of what I plan to do and haven't been able to the last few days.  I rarely look at it but I think having typed it I have the plan in the back of my mind and I do occasionally reference it, so I am definitely going to keep doing them and get them ready every day.

Cute

My reading corner, I have to draw sticks to determine who gets to read in the corner. The rest fight for my soft chairs.
The final product of the book lamps
Before and after chair

Leaving Northern Title I cried, I was nervous about the transition and thrusting myself into a whole new world. Except not entirely new since I was a kid once and went to school.

Driving past it yesterday during my lunch break I realized something. I don't miss it. Not even a little. Being a teacher is so much better suited for me and the kids just make life so much better. I wish I could introduce you all to each of my students so I could show them off. I was observed by my instructor and she said "You are a natural teacher and seem very at ease in the classroom."

Get this. I haven't felt anxious all week.

Made it through

I made it through the first few days of school. I honestly am looking forward to more time with structured subjects. They don't just dive in, they have 2 days where you basically talk about rules and procedures. I felt like I was digging for things to fill up the time. Starting next week I will get right into the swing of things. :D

I really have some cute kids in my class, and only 19 of them. Very manageable. I think this is going to be way easier than last semester. They say this is supposed to be the hardest, but the fact that I don't have to spend 4 hours of class after work is a dream to me. I have spent a lot of extra hours, but it was voluntary which has a completely different feel...big difference.

My classroom is so cute too. There are still a handful of things that I would like to do with it, I will get there. Pictures to come soon.

I decided however that even though I LOVE school and all the cuties. What I would love even more would be to send my own little kiddo to school. We watched a show yesterday where the Dad said that the happy ending was his little girl. It broke my heart as I saw Andrew with tears in his eyes. He then told me to call and check on the in-vitro and adoption stuff. Waiting is going to be a new level of hard, especially now that I know Andrew is completely ready and on board.

Wish us luck :D

Cutest Thing Ever

We had been talking about a few people we knew whose husbands took off on them during some kind of mid-life crisis. I asked Andrew if he was ever going to decide he was sick of me and take off. After a small moment he said "You are the one thing I'm really happy about in my life." He mentioned other things that were just okay. My heart melted. What a sweetheart.

Summer

I cried

I was really strong all day and gave quick hugs and short good-byes. I worked like normal, packed my things and walked out of my last day at Northern Title Company. I made it about 5 seconds in the car before I cried at the phase of my life that is now over. It really became a home away from home and the people there were like family. We even bickered like siblings, but all in good fun. I will surely miss them and am grateful for the chance I had to work with such great people.

I love my friends there and will miss them. (Back) Garrett, David, Melanie, Marilyn, Paul, Jay and Dacei. (Front) Darrell, Me, Kallie, and Brett. This is their parade of homes picture for the ad. Something like "we are working for you". I thought it turned out nice. Melanie, the one with the drill, is my replacement she is lucky :D.

So close. Life is so close to all kinds of changes. I have 7 days left at Northern Title Company before I start working at the Elementary School. I also have finished the 1 single thing to take over to the adoption place and all of the paperwork is finished. I hope that a baby comes soon and that things all turn out well in my classroom. I am going with my friend Kizzi tonight to put some things together and she is going to let us take full advantage of her Cricut. My neighbor Amy also used to teach the 3rd grade and gave me a whole bunch of stuff yesterday that I am really happy about. I haven’t looked through to see how much I can use, but there are cute decorations that I definitely can use.

Last week we went to the Duncan family reunion and it was wonderful. We celebrated Grandma’s 90th birthday and had a wonderful time. It was so great to see all the Aunts and Uncles and cousins. I recognized everyone older than 16, but had to guess at the rest. One of my cousins, Connie may have a potential contact for us in terms of adoption. We also went to see some friends after the reunion that may also have a contact. Luckily I printed off a bunch of cards with our blog and phone number so they could easily call and get more information if they wanted to.

I feel that we have been really blessed and that we are closing in on a baby. People seem to think the same as I have had people giving me all kinds of baby stuff without me saying a word. :D I’m very happy at the thought and happy with life and excited for the future. I haven’t always been able to say that, so it is really a blessing to feel this way.

:)

Day Off

I have a confession to make. I skipped church today. Do you ever feel like you need a day off? I just walked around and enjoyed my flower beds this morning...stopped and smelled the lilacs and looked at my newly blooming lilies.
Andrew made me a delicious breakfast of French Toast and Orange Juice. I then proceeded to enjoy my day out on the grass under a tree in the sunshine reading a book.
Now I am updating my life on facebook and blogging and seeing how my wonderful friends and family are doing while I listen to Sunday music....I just want to say that Sunday sometimes is just as worshiped from the comfort of your home and enjoying the world that God has created for you. No, I don't plan to make a habit of it and don't condone skipping Church, I do feel that today was a great day and I really needed it. I hope Heavenly Father can forgive my absence at Church today.
I think I might bake something yummy later and take a half-nap outside in a minute...if I can stand the bugs.

Latest and Greatest

I had an appointment with the In-Vitro people in Salt Lake on Monday. I have Dr. Peterson and I have been really happy with everything he has done. I had an SIS, which is basically an internal sonogram (Yay!…insert sarcasm here). Everything went according to plan and we are now able to get things started with the In-Vitro Miracle Fund. If everything goes well with this fund we may be able to have everything paid for with the in-vitro, which would be obviously fabulous. The only drawback to this is that the paperwork takes about 4 months. With that being the case we probably won’t be able to get the in Vitro until December, but I can handle that to save $13,000.00 . They did find while I was there that I am not nearly as broken as I thought!!. My fallopian tubes are open! Before my surgery they said that one was definitely closed, during surgery they felt that both were likely closed and 4 months later, they think that one and likely both are open! I got to see the sonogram for myself and saw the fluids flowing like the should!! Very Cool. With that news Dr. Peterson thinks that after this first Pregnancy (with in-vitro) that I should be able to have kids on my own! That is a far cry from Dr. Fower’s diagnosis of 0-5% chance of conception.

Until then we have an appointment on Wednesday with our caseworker Charity to complete the adoption process. I’m feeling hopeful. There is still a little to be done, but it is very little and just a matter of time. Everyone we have worked with has been very kind too.

While we wait I want to do a few things. One of them is to go and see Jenny in Seattle, which thanks to Andrew getting a new truck led to some bargaining power on my part. :D I love it when I get bargaining power.

This isn’t the exact truck that Andrew got, but this is what it looks like. Hello Seattle :D



Yesterday I went to the Summerfest with my Sister-in-Law and nieces. I love going and feeling inspired. They have so many different artwork booths and some pretty amazing talent in them. My favorite was an asian girls booth with her mother with these beautiful paintings. They were very crisp and vibrant. The crazy part was, when you looked closely...they weren't paintings at all it was actually embroidery! The entire thing was stitched! It was impressive

Samantha and Haley @ Summerfest.

I was reviewing my resolution blog from January today and I think that I am going to make it, but I am glad I re-read it because I would have forgotten some things. New Years Resolution

1. Have....I mean GET... a baby – GETTING THERE


2. Graduate...again – ON TRACK


3. Go see Becky - DONE


4. Finish my quilt – PROGRESS MADE


5. Learn a new song on the piano – FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE


6. Be a good friend – THINK SO


7. Read the entire New Testament – ON TRACK…maybe a little behind


8. Study Spanish – STILL NEED TO DO.


9. Finish my 2-year supply of food storage – WORKING ON IT


10. Rebuild my 3 month – WORKING ON IT.

Series of fortunate events.

Today I went to the hospital and got some blood tests done to check my antibodies, thyroid, rubella, cystic fibrosis, etc. This was all done because of our appointment we had last week at the University of Utah Hospital. We had a chance to talk to Dr. Peterson and we looked at our options for In-Vitro. He looked over all of our information and told me that he didn’t want me to ever cycle ever again. (This is when I cheered) I would not have to get a hysterectomy and every time I want to get pregnant (in-vitro) I would just need to take a shot. He said that he sees 4 or 5 candidates like me in a week where I am young and relatively healthy, placed our chances of having a successful In-Vitro appointment at 65%. We have one more appointment next Monday where Andrew and I need to get a few tests done. They said as soon as those tests get back, they could get us in to the appointment pretty quick! The deadline date that we were shooting for was before August 20^th, I feel that we could get it done before the end of the month! (or close to it).

After I got my blood test done today I stopped at LDSFS. I dropped off all of the final paperwork we needed to turn in for adoption! This is the year folks, I have been waiting and waiting and I think that I might actually get my baby after 5 yrs being married. I have felt as I have moved through this process not to worry about the money and just push forward. SO…here we go. We only have to get a home study done and a few interviews and we will be done with all of the adoption stuff…just waiting from there.

An elderly man in my ward came up to me on Sunday and grabbed my hands overlapping his and said that I would be given what it is that I have been desiring. And that he felt prompted to tell me that. He explained that the last time he felt to tell someone that he found out she was a blind diabetic getting her driver’s license, now able to see. He said I don’t know what you are looking for Kiddo, but I just felt I should tell you that. I just smiled and said ok. He is a bit of a different guy, but I believe he is right :D

CLASS class CLASS. I finally found out where I will be teaching next year also. I will be at North Park Elementary as a third grade teacher. I’m very excited. I will be getting some funding to set up my classroom and put things together. I can also get things going after June 17^th when they are finished putting new carpet in my room. I have all kinds of ideas going through my mind, it is sometimes hard to sleep.

Lastly..my yard finally looks like I want it to! I even got complimented on it last week. I am so happy with all my pretty flowers that are blooming and my garden that is up and going. I think we will really have a great harvest this year.

Things have been great lately…I hope it continues to get better and better and maybe….I will have a baby Shaw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fashion Show at Benson 1st

Linda and Trudy. Linda in her bathing suit and Trudy in her "slip" over sweater.
Kiera in her ball gown with a plunging neck-line
Jody in her after dinner dress with the 14 carrot necklace and earings
Shannon in her Baby doll night gown...
Lori in her lipton T-shirt and gardening bibs.
Me in my box suit with sucker fabric and not to mention bloomers...and birth control hat to be prepared like the scouts (the lady that gave me this outfit didn't know the irony behind it)
Wendy with her plaid suit and top hat...partnered with the ball gown above.

A Goose just pooped in my Kitchen.

Andrew and I just spent the night putting together the last of our garden watering system, which will make my gardening life a whole lot easier, I'm stoked. It has been such a cold spring though that I only have beans and peas planted up here. There is no way a tomato would have survived and this next week we have nights getting as low as 34 deg. Not friendly garden weather. After we laid out our pipe in the garden we were walking back to the house when Andrew saw something in our yard. I couldn't tell what it was, but Andrew identified it as a goose. It must have been out of it, because it let Andrew walk right up to it. He was bobbing back and forth quite a bit when it walked like its leg was hurt. Andrew had no trouble picking it up and then as I scrambled for the camera. He came inside. I took a few shots and then Andrew asked if I wanted a picture. YES. But then He said I had to hold it....yikes, ok, I grabbed him and smiled...right after the shot we must have scared the crap out of him...literally. Goose poop on my kitchen floor.

The excitement was over after I got crapped on, so Andrew took it outside and it took off seemingly fine. So long goose.

The latest and greatest

I made it through mother's day with flying colors! I felt such a gratitude for my ward that seemed to modify their mother's day talks and lessons just for me. They were specific in how we are all mother's even if we don't bear children. They were very sweet.

I'm finally done with classes. I think I will only get 1 B, which I am sad about, but only 1 B, for working two jobs and going to school...can't complain.

My yard is looking so pretty these days. I spent all day in it Saturday, I put in some raspberries, weeded another flower bed, treated the lawn. Almost perfect. Few weeds to still pull in a few beds.

Here is a question. Luke 20:29-36...read it. What are your thoughts?

Food

The thing I love about food is this. You can be easily inspired. I watch the show chopped and I get clues, I watched Julie and Julia, wonderful inspiration. I joined for an unbelievably affordable fee the all recipes site. I HATE coming up with what to make. WELL this site sets up meals for you. (could be set up according to nutrition, to price, to themes) you can mix and match any recipes you want for any on the site and then when you are done it gives you the grocery list for all the recipes you combined. You can also edit your grocery list and add things like catfood and lightbulbs if you like. I printed my last weeks off and took it to the store where it was conveniently categorized into sections like baking isle, dairy, produce etc. Then this week I cooked all the recipes on my list. Andrew got dinner 4x this week 4! He is usually lucky to get 1. Also, the food I bought gave us both meals for 2 weeks for about 150 dollars...not bad if you ask me. OH! and all the meals have nutritional information on them. I'm a fan. It was really nice to get out-of-the norm ideas that were not from my typical stash.

I posted my 2 favorite this week on the food for thought blog www.carillisa.blogspot.com. ENJOY.

On another topic completely, is it soggy everywhere else? Andrew had to dig a path for all the water to run off the fields into the ponds.

Here is a question. Do you think it would be a good idea to have only "family" toys and not individual toys for your kids? I just imagine that it would help kids share. What do you think?

Before and After

It has been a year since we bought this place and there are a lot of projects that have taken place. Here are some of the Before and Afters of this year.

The old brown cabinets turn to a "buff yellow"

The tired old roof got a much needed face lift.

The discovery of wood floors under the hideous carpet was made!

After years of torture this lovely wallpaper finally came down.

The kitchen became complete with an updated light.

This charming little bench got new life.

This was done a while ago, but we can't ever underestimate the power of pink walls in a bathroom. This has been a great change.

There are more pictures to come, but I don't have all of the after pictures taken yet. I am looking forward to next years projects!!

Freedom

There are a few thing that I want to post about today, that are not really related to each other except that they chronologically happened all this week!

First off...my last day of classes was on Wednesday. In case you don't know. I have been going to class Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the last 8 months spending up to 6 hours in a chair learning to be the best educator possible. I also finished my practicum on Friday which means I spent two weeks teaching someone else's class. I also tried to work at Northern Title in the evenings during all of this and still keep things running in my Art Class. I tell you all this so you can put the right amount of emphasis on this. Can I hear a HALLELUJAH!!!

I really feel that I have learned a lot and through the practicum and all my classes I think I will be a much better teacher and even a better parent. Really the hugs that I got from the students on my last day were so rewarding. One student in particular that struggles socially and can be really hard to manage sometimes. He came up to me and gave me the most sincere hug and I caught the reflection of his face in the mirror and he was smiling with his eyes closed. It was so sweet, it made my day. I am so excited to have this all done and be able to look forward to next year and have the chance to love 25 kids of my own and share my life and experience with them.
Because of all the chaos these last few weeks I have felt that I have lost track of the most important things. I was in tears the other night and told Andrew that I was feeling particularly horrible because I had not been reading my scriptures daily, I wasn't praying daily, we had lost our routine of nightly prayers together, I hadn't done my visiting teaching lately....the list goes on. I was a CRAPPY member of the church I wasn't doing hardly anything I knew I should. Andrew and I talked and even though it was really late we knelt and prayed together. The next night Andrew was ready on the floor waiting for me to kneel beside him (I thought this was such a sweet gesture because he was showing that he was listening and wanted to support me in the efforts I was trying to make). I made a little extra time to read in the morning while I ate breakfast. I had made a few small changes and recommitted to working on everything else. I want to share with you what a huge difference it has made. Some of the financial struggles have been eased. My stresses have been lessened. My attitude better. Andrew and I's relationship, more loving. This has all occurred in the course of a week. We had a lesson in Sunday school today about being as a little child. I think of this when I imagine that someone could have thought that all the changes that I noticed with week were just a coincidence. An adult might question the authenticity of where these blessings really came from. I know that I am being blessed for trying to do the right things and it has been a great reminder to me to focus on what is most important. Henry B. Eyering shared in a talk about him putting the gospel first even though he was very busy and had interviews and many things going on. He shared that he got the job because he showed his future employers his dedication. This is what I need to remember and know what I won't be able to touch my students the same if I don't have the Spirit to guide me.

Okay!...So! Who is ready to PARTY!

I made this for my practicum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1zcSrLvG7o

In the Slough

Yesterday Andrew called me from the yard. I couldn't hear the phone because I was vacuuming but when I did see the call he asked if I saw what happened....no I can see that there are a lot of people outside. Yeah, that is because Chad drove his tractor over the cliff. WHAT! I gasped....yeah, he said, come out it is really fun. It took a tractor pulling a tractor pulling a tractor to get him out.