Elizabeth's First Sunday

Elizabeth's First Sunday

In one sentence, it could have gone worse, it could have gone better.  She loved singing the songs during sacraments and she would slightly shake her head with the songs as to theatrically sing the notes.  She looked absolutely adorable in her new dress from the Spencer's and new Sunday jacket from Mary.  After the bread at the sacrament she stated that she wanted some more.  I waited until after the Sacrament to give her anything to play with which she did just fine. At one point during Sacrament meeting she said "There are so many people in here......I just can't stand it, they are so loud".  Half the ward was missing so it was actually pretty quiet.  In primary Andrew insisted that I sit in with her to make sure things went well.  Our good friends Buffy and Colby Peterson teach the class and were great with her.  She went right in and had a good time.  She was in there before I could even catch up with another little gal in the ward (Jada Flygar) that found her.  She didn't sit as well as the other kids did, but she liked participating.  Buffy was great with her and knew how to handle every little thing.  She got hungry for some crackers at one point and decided to share them with the whole class.  She was brave and said the prayer in front of the whole class even though she has only said it a few times with us.

The switch to Primary she didn't want to sit in her chair, she ran down the hall and didn't listen to anything that I said.  I was having a hard time, but again Buffy took her on her lap and she was good.....after a few bribed candies from Buffy too.  Primary teachers get to do that.

After church Andrew asked if she was good and she said no, because she didn't want to listen when she was running down the hall......at least she knows that she wasn't being good. 

Elizabeth Story

A few weeks before Thanksgiving we got an email:  It said that Krystal (birth mom) had a girl she wanted to put up for adoption that was 4 years old. 

Our response:

Dear Krystal,

We really appreciate your email about your 4 year old daughter.  We are very interested and would love for you to consider us for adoption.  We understand that this is a very difficult decision and admire your courage.  We have been battling infertility for just over 4 years, so adopting a 4 year old feels like a perfect scenario.  We would love to get to know you both and see pictures if you are willing.

I check my email fairly regularly with my phone so I am pretty accessible that way, but we are both home anytime after 4:00 and weekends and would be happy to talk with you on the phone as well.. 

We look forward to hearing from you and answering any questions you have.

Love Andrew and DeAnna

Her Reply:
She is an absolutely wonderful girl. This has been a very hard decision, but I know this is for the best. I was raised around boys, so I am not girly at all. She is all the way girly, loves her hair done, her nails, and she is very independent and so intelligent. She loves animals, I have always had dogs and cats around her. She loves everyone and is very polite and knows some of her manners. Her father has never met her and wants no part with her, which has been fine with me. I have tried my best and I have come to the conclusion that I just cannot provide for her as I know a family would.
A little about me, I am 26 years old, I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant with her. I was terrified even then to have her. I never did drugs, smoked, or drank while I was pregnant with her. I do have a history of drug use, but that was before I got pregnant with her. I had thought about adoption while I was pregnant with her, but I was scared about regret and fear of what would happen. I had decided to try to raise her on my own and it's not turning out the way I had planned. It's a lot harder than I thought, especially by myself. I am not ready for a child and probably never was. I just want the best and my parenting isn't the best for her. She's too smart and she is not getting the attention that she so desperately needs or deserves.
Are there any questions that you have for me?

Thank You,
Krystal

From Us:
Krystal,

Wow, thank you for the quick response!  She is a beautiful girl, we would absolutely love to have her as part of our family.  I saw on the collage that you have it titled Liz, her name?  Are you considering other families or couples?  How serious are you and what kind of timeline are you looking at?  Are you looking for an open adoption?  Where are you located? (sorry that sounds like a bombardment of questions.)

We definitely have plenty of animals to play with, at Andrew's house growing up there was a sign that said "welcome to the zoo" and that wasn't because of the 8 kids ha ha ha.  We live in the country, so I think farm is a more appropriate title, even though none would be considered livestock.

Also, I grew up with 4 sisters plus Mom, I can do girly :D.    I even have a few nieces that are also girly 4 year old's. 

Love
Andrew and DeAnna

From Krystal:
Well, thank you very much, she is my starlight. Her name is Elizabeth Dae. You are actually the first couple I came across that I liked. I have always loved animals, even though I have a slight allergy with them, I still love them. I have worked with animals since I was 15, and probably will my whole life. Elizabeth loves fish, those are her favorite and she loves our dog, he is a lab mix.

I am very serious about this, just finally able to talk to my family and we have all come to the conclusion that this is probably the best option for her. I would like for the open adoption, but at the beginning I do realize that it will be a huge struggle for her to adjust. I would just like to be kept in the know of how she is doing and developing.

We live in Colorado Springs, we have been here for almost two years, moved from Texas and lived there for two years as well. She was born in Fort Collins, Colorado.

I am hoping to get this adoption done soon as I know it will be harder as she gets older.  I am not sure what the process is or any of that, if you know anything about the process and what there is to do with everything let me know

Our Reply:
Our caseworker said we simply hire an adoption attorney and they take care of the paperwork.  They can let us know what the final process is for adoption after that.  We are very excited and with your approval we can work on finding an attorney in Colorado Springs to start the process.  

We are completely excited with this possibility.  If you would like to meet we, would be happy to, skype is a bit more convenient than a 10 hour drive, but we are more than happy to meet you however you would like. 
We prefer open adoption and would love you to continue to be a part of her life to the degree you are comfortable with.  I'm great at emailing, picture taking, blogging etc.

Love
DeAnna and Andrew

From Krystal:
I am totally fine with skype, my mom knows more about the program than I do. She can set me up with everything for that. I am off tomorrow, but have a lot of running around to do. Maybe tomorrow night would be good for the both of you. If you would like to call or text me, please feel free to do so. My number is ...:D

Thank You, 

Krystal

 At this point the emailing ended and we strictly texted and skyped.  We had a chance to meet her and were immediately okay with bringing her home.  We talked with a Colorado attorney, who said we needed a Utah attorney.  The Utah attorney found out we needed both.  We started skyping nearly every night.  This got a little tricky and we had to get creative because there were only so many new things happening in a 4 yr-old's life and she really didn't care to hear us ramble on.  She told us her favorite colors, foods, toys, etc.  After all was covered we decided to start reading books.  This worked well for a while and she was entertained with the pictures and the stories.  She especially like "The Monster at the End of This Book".  We found out quickly also that she was ALL girl, pink, purple, red.  Princesses, strawberry shortcake, My little Pony, all were part of her daily conversations. 

 She asked over and over for princess sheets.  Everyone in the family pretty much jumped on the chance to give her pretty much everything she wanted. 
At her house she was getting fairly well prepared for the events that would be coming up.  She understood (as much as a 4 yr-old can) that she would be coming to live with us and that she would be getting a new mommy and daddy forever.  One day she said "I don't have a dad, Andrew is going to be my new dad", Andrew was immediately wrapped around her finger.  She would also call for Andrew every single time if Andrew wasn't sitting there to Skype with her.   Her eyes would light up when he would come in the room. 

Our short 2 week time-frame that the first Lawyer gave us turned into much longer.  We we getting more and more anxious as was Krystal.  The extra time did give us a much longer chance to get to know Elizabeth before we got her.  Our story reading (to give us something to do) turned into games and songs and other fun things that we were able to share with each other.  She started to scare us and would say "Did I scare you so hard"? and would giggle.  She would make up games and other things for us to do.  Our once 30 minute chats sometimes would be an hour or more.  We learned at this point how much of a cheezer she is as well as a dancer.

Day after day went by which turned into weeks and we were getting antsy.  Christmas was approaching and we wanted to have her home.  I was getting more and more irritable as the lesson plans I prepared for the sub were getting used by me.  I got text after text asking how things were going that I didn't want to answer because there was nothing new to tell.  After a few conversations the attorney finally gave us the go ahead.  Friday the 21st we headed to Colorado to get her.

Andrew and I had our set of worries as the hour drew closer.  We wondered how the "transfer" would go, how she would react, how Krystal would react.  We brought Grandma and Grandpa Lee which was great help and company.  We met at Red Robin (Elizabeth's favorite) with Krystal and her parents.  When she saw us she ran to us and gave us the biggest hugs.  I got the closest at that point to crying as I held her and she hugged me tight.  The night went seamlessly.  No crying, no fussing, everyone kept their cool.  When it was time to go she simply got into the car with us.  Andrew put her box and suitcase in the car and bike in the back and that was everything. 

Teaching

          Today was not my favorite day as a teacher.  One of my brightest students doesn't like writing and tried to convince me that he wouldn't need it for the rest of his life and that he already knew how to do it.  This only led to a series of several minutes of conversing where I told him I didn't care if he didn't like it, he needed to do it.  Also that it was too bad, he had to do writing.  I told him he could do all of the writing tests right now and if he could get 100% on them I wouldn't make him write for the rest of the year.  He wasn't willing to take that option.  I told him if we needed to we would call his Mom just for him to retort that I couldn't because she was in Hawaii.  Sigh...I made him come and sit in another teachers classroom while he finished the writing he refused to do (because he just kept talking and disturbing the other kids in our class).  He then refused to go in their classroom causing a big scene in front of this other teachers class.  Mr Rigby (the other teacher) finally had to yell at him to go and sit down.  Then he finally moved.  I was very grateful to this other teacher, but then the Principle reminded me that sending him to this other teacher takes power from me as a teacher and now I would appear weak to this student.  (yeah, thanks for making me feel better in this time of frustration).  He finally started to get his writing done, he had to stay in from lunch to finish.  I asked him what he was going to do tomorrow...before he could say anything I rephrased and said "This will not happen tomorrow" and he said "OK".

      Later I met with the Principle with a routine goal setting meeting where she said that during Math Walk-Through's (where the principle and members of the district watch you teach math) that they could tell the myself and another new teacher were novice and they wanted us to watch the other experienced teachers.  This was a little bit of a self-esteem blow... sigh.

    I was a little discouraged and felt like I needed to make some changes in my classroom and was pretty firm with a couple of the kids after that and  really tried to take control and make sure the kids knew who the boss was.  I made one kid who is ALWAYS talking cry when I made him get a pin down twice, the most you can get. 

    I need to just take charge, make sure to move around the room a lot and keep all of the kids on task and working well.  I need to stay on my feet and always wear comfy shoes.  How do I keep a noisy class under wraps.  I need to stay on top of them and make sure that I nip every comment and conversation in the bud.  I need to have engaging and good lessons.  Focus on the positive reinforcement.  I need to move quickly around the room making sure that students don't have a chance to deviate from the lesson.  I need to get a promithian board or an interwrite pad.

Conference Weekend

The familiarity and the security of General Conference fills my soul.  Besides the words that are spoken every time, just like the Book of Mormon, the sessions of conference have become sweet to me.  Reminding me of days of security and that feeling that comes with it. Even as a youth I felt the spirit of Conference before I was old enough to really grasp the words that were being spoken.  That Spirit lingers with me as I watch still.  I love to see the contrast however to those days when I felt it.  Now I find myself craving the words being spoken as well as the Spirit that I feel when I watch.

Some big announcements came this conference.  They changed the age of the missionaries for 19 and 21.  Boys can now leave as early as 18 and women 19. There is a big push for missionary work and calling the missionaries when we need help.  Dallin H. Oaks had a beautiful talk on taking care of our children and allowing children to be born and not having an abortion.

Henry B. Eyring made wonderful comments on being willing to follow the Lord's time.  "Heavenly Father I give you all of my time, please help me to fill it". 

What a wonderful time of year.  I cherish General Conference.

Adoption, drama, funny

http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db28064.html

I have been copping out of actually writing anything in my blog lately.  I think that I have either become so routine in my life that nothing I do seems noteworthy, or I have stopped noting on the things that are funny but small.  HOWEVER, there have been some big things that I would like to mention today and a few small things.

First big thing.  You will notice at the top of the page is a link to our latest attempt at a child.  This link will lead you to a profile that we have added to give us access to web searches and adoption agencies across the country.  Cross your fingers.  Hmmm...lets make a list.

Fertility Attempts

1. No birth control
2. Assisted insemenation
3. Surgery
4. LDS Family Services (adoption)
5. IN-Vitro
6. IN-Vitro
7. No menopause med's
8. Parent Profiles (adoption)

The odds are in our favor, something is bound to work eventually :D.  As I pray about it I feel that I am not being forgotten, and that there will be a time for it.  I just don't know when....I keep having the thought that I agreed to this before I came to earth, there is a good reason for the delay. 

The latest attempt at adoption came with a book my mother-in-law sent me called Secret Daughter.  It is a book about a couple that adopts a girl from India.  She warned me to just get through the beginning and the rest would be good.  Well about 5 pages  in I had nearly broken into tears several times because of how much I related to the wife's infertility.  HOWEVER, it motivated me to take action on the parent profile site and now it is up and running less than 2 weeks later. 

It may have taken less time, but there was a bit of a snag in the normal routine of our lives.  My Mom called to let us know that she wasn't going to be able to join us on our Jackson Hole trip we are taking this weekend because my sister had called from Seattle and my Dad was picking her up.  He wasn't just picking her up though, he was picking up Jenny and all 5 kids and moving them, that night, back to Utah.  Sadly news from her husband came saying he had been cheating for the past 4 months.  She was a girl from his work and he claimed to love her.  Jenny said being around him at that point felt like poison and she scooped up her kids and called dad.  

I went down to try and help where I could, but I was about as emotional as everyone else, and don't know if I was any support at all.  Mom was a wreck, Dad was worn out and those of us who found out later were still recovering.  Jenny just put her arms around me and said "I hope you appreciate what a good husband you have".  I was going to try and be brave, but I lost it and caused others to do the same.  I have talked to her a bit here and there since and she seems to be doing better.  According to my Dad when they went back up to pack this weekend Jenny went on a date with a guy that had a crush on her from the ward.  Josi overhearing the conversation was a little distraught until Dad laughed and said it was Todd.  Josi smiled and seemed to be pleased that after 2 weeks of separation that her parents were on a date.  Things seem to be mending and Todd is trying to make things right and severed ties with the other girl and is seeking help from the bishop and stake president.  (Deep sigh).

Since then I have come back to my quite world in Benson where all is well.  Andrew and I went to Tom and Mataya's to meet for dinner on Friday and I have a bit of an embarrassing but funny story to tell and even if I preferred not to tell all the details that make me look stupid, the story wouldn't be as good, so ALAS I will tell.  On the way there it was pitch black and I was taking back country roads in the middle of corn fields to get the the main highway.  I cam around a corner into even further blackness and nearly ran into two cars (sedans) parked on the side of the road.  As I went by I noticed that both cars were parked and there were two men sitting on the hood of one of the cars.  ....   .... ... ... ?  What in the world are two men doing sitting on the hood of a car in the dark in the middle of nowhere?   After a few moments reflecting on what I saw I couldn't imagine that there was much they could be doing that was legal.....unless they were stargazing?  (This is the part I'm embarrassed to admit)   I decided to call it in, and just mention it.  I told dispatch that I really didn't see anything suspicious, but it was just weird.  She asked if I wanted to give my name or remain anonymous....I should have remained anonymous, but I gave my name and number in case they had questions.  I get to their house and tell Andrew, Tom and Mataya the story and mentioned how I thought it was weird and they agreed, but I didn't tell them about calling it in.  I didn't want them to think I was paranoid and whatever.  We went to eat and on the way back we were about 2 blocks away from their house when I get a phone call.  Dangit, it was probably the cop and I was in front of everyone so I would probably have to admit that I called it in.  NO, the cop on the other line asked if I owned a grey Mazda, I did, and that he found it in the middle of the road.  ???  What?  He said he was just driving by and my car was in the middle of the road.  It appeared to have rolled down the driveway and into the street even though I had the emergency brake on.  I didn't have it in gear so even with the break it rolled backwards down the driveway and into the road.  Gratefully it was probably slowed by the brake and didn't go any further or hit anything causing damage.  We got there and the cop and the neighbor had helped push it out of the street.  We were all laughing and I was a bit embarrassed until the cop also laughing said it was about as suspicious as two cars parked out in the dark!  It was the same cop that went to check on the other cars I had just called in!  Everyone really started laughing now and realized that I had called it in.  I was very embarrassed then, but tried to laugh it off.  "it is a good thing you don't live somewhere else other than Cache Valley Utah"......it's true.  Seriously though anywhere else I wouldn't have, but this was close to my home and not much happens there and I am not about to let it start.  Crazy story, funny night.

Tom and Mataya have decided to come with us to Jackson Hole, which will be really fun.  I have been excited about it all week and we are looking forward to it.  At school in the meantime, I have really been trying to work with some kids in my class that are so so chatty.  One little guy in particular is a bit of a stinker and has a very vivid imagination.  He has made a laptop on his desk out of paper and told me that the wonderful technology of wireless internet will allow him access to link to my computer.  He has been building all kinds of things with the scrap paper in the classroom and had a hard time when I mentioned he needed to put it away.  Today during prep after he had mentioned that he was going to bring another laptop home (another piece of paper folded with a keyboard and screen) that would connect directly to the one on his desk I decided to play along.  I printed a piece of paper with something like "incoming message from Mrs. Shaw, be sure to read all the questions on your test and try not to shout out in class".  He flipped out, he was smiling and laughing and getting after me asking how I figured out his password and got his email.  He showed all the other kids in class including those that had decided to make their own laptops.  There was all kinds of emails coming back and forth and I eventually got my own paper laptop with a handwritten message from him.  Funny kids.

Summer Fun

This summer has been full.  A bit emotional at times, but overall it was very relaxing and nice.  I was so glad to be able to home and just stay when I felt like it and also work on fun projects and do things that I haven't been able to do the last few years.

(Insert side note:  I just washed my car and now it is raining)

I ended up reading 9 books this summer.  It has been a slow time.  It has been really nice, but I am ready to get back to work.

Shaw Reunion

Alexa, Samantha and butterfly

Cupcakes

Janie and Kaci

Kevin and Stephanie

Kevin, Stephanie and Charlie

Maci

Marcuse and Christa

Alexa ad Missy with Niki

Samantha and Butterfly

The boys

campfire

Andrew and DeAnna

DeAnna and Niki

stephanies parents :D

the look

Lee Reunion

Given to me by a cute little girl at a ward we were visiting in Spanish Fork.  Never met her before, but I think I like her too.  :D

28

Thanks to my sister-in-law Christa I actually have a picture from my Birthday.  28 this year.  Seems crazy.  I had a wonderful day with Andrew's family.  We were in the middle of the Shaw reunion and I got to share the day with my cute nephew Dallin who had the same birthday.  Liz my sister-in-law made me this amazing cake with raspberries and chocolate...dream come true.  We spent the morning at Lava hot springs swimming and going down all the water slides.  Liz made us a fabulous dinner and cake.  We then watched "despicable me" via a projector outside.  It was a very fun day.  PLUS I got a bunch of beautiful quilts from my neighbor that she was just GIVING AWAY....yes, I took them all. 

before and after.

$5 chair at D.I.

missy

 Silly Bee - go sting someone dead.

Mrs. Shaws class

 Hot Dog..Missy, the little weasel

The "I'm-sitting-in-the-wrong-spot-at-my-graduation" look.