A few weeks before Thanksgiving we got an email: It said that Krystal (birth mom) had a girl she wanted to put up for adoption that was 4 years old.
Our response:
Dear Krystal,
We really appreciate your email about your 4 year
old daughter. We are very interested and would love for you to consider
us for adoption. We understand that this is a very difficult decision
and admire your courage. We have been battling infertility for just
over 4 years, so adopting a 4 year old feels like a perfect scenario.
We would love to get to know you both and see pictures if you are
willing.
I check my email fairly regularly with my phone so I am pretty
accessible that way, but we are both home anytime after 4:00 and
weekends and would be happy to talk with you on the phone as well..
We look forward to hearing from you and answering any questions you have.
Love Andrew and DeAnna
Her Reply:
She is an absolutely wonderful girl. This has been a very hard
decision, but I know this is for the best. I was raised around boys, so I
am not girly at all. She is all the way girly, loves her hair done, her
nails, and she is very independent and so intelligent. She loves
animals, I have always had dogs and cats around her. She loves everyone
and is very polite and knows some of her manners. Her father has never
met her and wants no part with her, which has been fine with me. I have
tried my best and I have come to the conclusion that I just cannot
provide for her as I know a family would.
A little about me, I am 26 years old, I was 21 when I found out I was
pregnant with her. I was terrified even then to have her. I never did
drugs, smoked, or drank while I was pregnant with her. I do have a
history of drug use, but that was before I got pregnant with her. I had
thought about adoption while I was pregnant with her, but I was scared
about regret and fear of what would happen. I had decided to try to
raise her on my own and it's not turning out the way I had planned. It's
a lot harder than I thought, especially by myself. I am not ready for a
child and probably never was. I just want the best and my parenting
isn't the best for her. She's too smart and she is not getting the
attention that she so desperately needs or deserves.
Are there any questions that you have for me?
Thank You,
Krystal
From Us:
Krystal,
Wow, thank you for the quick response! She is a
beautiful girl, we would absolutely love to have her as part of our
family. I saw on the collage that you have it titled Liz, her name?
Are you considering other families or couples? How serious are you and
what kind of timeline are you looking at? Are you looking for an open
adoption? Where are you located? (sorry that sounds like a bombardment
of questions.)
We definitely have plenty of animals to play with, at Andrew's house
growing up there was a sign that said "welcome to the zoo" and that
wasn't because of the 8 kids ha ha ha. We live in the country, so I
think farm is a more appropriate title, even though none would be
considered livestock.
Also, I grew up with 4 sisters plus Mom, I can do girly :D. I even have a few nieces that are also girly 4 year old's.
Love
Andrew and DeAnna
From Krystal:
Well, thank you very much, she is my starlight. Her name is Elizabeth
Dae. You are actually the first couple I came across that I liked. I
have always loved animals, even though I have a slight allergy with
them, I still love them. I have worked with animals since I was 15, and
probably will my whole life. Elizabeth loves fish, those are her
favorite and she loves our dog, he is a lab mix.
I am very serious about this, just finally able to talk
to my family and we have all come to the conclusion that this is
probably the best option for her. I would like for the open adoption,
but at the beginning I do realize that it will be a huge struggle for
her to adjust. I would just like to be kept in the know of how she is
doing and developing.
We live in Colorado Springs, we have been here for
almost two years, moved from Texas and lived there for two years as
well. She was born in Fort Collins, Colorado.
I
am hoping to get this adoption done soon as I know it will be harder as
she gets older. I am not sure what the process is or any of that, if
you know anything about the process and what there is to do with
everything let me know
Our Reply:
Our caseworker said we simply hire an adoption attorney and they take
care of the paperwork. They can let us know what the final process is
for adoption after that. We are very excited and with your approval we
can work on finding an attorney in Colorado Springs to start the
process.
We are completely excited with this possibility. If you would like
to meet we, would be happy to, skype is a bit more convenient than a 10
hour drive, but we are more than happy to meet you however you would
like.
We prefer open adoption and would love you to continue to be a part of
her life to the degree you are comfortable with. I'm great at emailing,
picture taking, blogging etc.
Love
DeAnna and Andrew
From Krystal:
I am totally fine with skype, my mom knows more about the program than I
do. She can set me up with everything for that. I am off tomorrow, but
have a lot of running around to do. Maybe tomorrow night would be good
for the both of you. If you would like to call or text me, please feel
free to do so. My number is ...:D
Thank You,
Krystal
At this point the emailing ended and we strictly texted and skyped. We had a chance to meet her and were immediately okay with bringing her home. We talked with a Colorado attorney, who said we needed a Utah attorney. The Utah attorney found out we needed both. We started skyping nearly every night. This got a little tricky and we had to get creative because there were only so many new things happening in a 4 yr-old's life and she really didn't care to hear us ramble on. She told us her favorite colors, foods, toys, etc. After all was covered we decided to start reading books. This worked well for a while and she was entertained with the pictures and the stories. She especially like "The Monster at the End of This Book". We found out quickly also that she was ALL girl, pink, purple, red. Princesses, strawberry shortcake, My little Pony, all were part of her daily conversations.
She asked over and over for princess sheets. Everyone in the family pretty much jumped on the chance to give her pretty much everything she wanted.
At her house she was getting fairly well prepared for the events that would be coming up. She understood (as much as a 4 yr-old can) that she would be coming to live with us and that she would be getting a new mommy and daddy forever. One day she said "I don't have a dad, Andrew is going to be my new dad", Andrew was immediately wrapped around her finger. She would also call for Andrew every single time if Andrew wasn't sitting there to Skype with her. Her eyes would light up when he would come in the room.
Our short 2 week time-frame that the first Lawyer gave us turned into much longer. We we getting more and more anxious as was Krystal. The extra time did give us a much longer chance to get to know Elizabeth before we got her. Our story reading (to give us something to do) turned into games and songs and other fun things that we were able to share with each other. She started to scare us and would say "Did I scare you so hard"? and would giggle. She would make up games and other things for us to do. Our once 30 minute chats sometimes would be an hour or more. We learned at this point how much of a cheezer she is as well as a dancer.
Day after day went by which turned into weeks and we were getting antsy. Christmas was approaching and we wanted to have her home. I was getting more and more irritable as the lesson plans I prepared for the sub were getting used by me. I got text after text asking how things were going that I didn't want to answer because there was nothing new to tell. After a few conversations the attorney finally gave us the go ahead. Friday the 21st we headed to Colorado to get her.
Andrew and I had our set of worries as the hour drew closer. We wondered how the "transfer" would go, how she would react, how Krystal would react. We brought Grandma and Grandpa Lee which was great help and company. We met at Red Robin (Elizabeth's favorite) with Krystal and her parents. When she saw us she ran to us and gave us the biggest hugs. I got the closest at that point to crying as I held her and she hugged me tight. The night went seamlessly. No crying, no fussing, everyone kept their cool. When it was time to go she simply got into the car with us. Andrew put her box and suitcase in the car and bike in the back and that was everything.
