Fun Week!

Andrew just got back from a fun hunting trip where he was able to get a nice Elk. The fun ends when they have to butcher the entire thing. I especially love it because my entire house smells like raw meat for a few. This time it was particularly interesting as they day after Andrew found that he had a small cut...rather a scratch. This scratch turned into a hospital visit today. Sunday evening Andrew was complaining that his finger hurt and he noticed it was looking a little swollen. We cleaned it with Hydrogen Peroxide and neosporin and added an nice bandaid. We relaxed watching Goonies. Andrew surprisingly was freezing cold. Now I know that it was not cold. I know when it is cold. Regardless I spent the moving trying to warm his toes and keep him covered with blankets etc. He never really warmed up. After the movie a quick restroom trip sent him over the edge and uncontrollable shivering commenced. He came into the bedroom and was laughing because he was shivering so hard. We knew something had to be wrong and even though Andrew was laughing I was ready to take him to the Hospital. We called Todd my brother-in-law instead and he said we did the right things and to keep the swollen finger warm to increase blood flow. He mentioned that if Andrew got too high of a fever (which he did have a small one) or streaks of red going up his arm, he should go into the Dr.
Andrew didn't sleep well, He was cold for quite a while, but as I laid next to him I was roasting.
The next morning Andrew looked down at his arm and as he watched the red streaks spread up his arm...he decided it was time to go in. Yada yada yada 2 shots and 6 pills a day and a promise to return tomorrow if there is no improvement and we have Andrew, the one handed invalid.

After I got out of classes I went to see him and you could literally see exactly where his veins went clear up his arm to his bicep. Lovely.



Sad truth. We cleaned out the fridge to add 2, 5-gallon, buckets of butchered Elk meat to stay cool until Andrew had it ground. We had to take 2 shelves out to make room. The sad truth, we didn't have to throw any food out or take any food out.

9 puppies

9 puppies, yep there are a lot, but that is good for us. We are hoping to sell them, which we are certain we have already sold one and have 2 maybies as well. They are stinking cute, so even if any of you don't want to you should come and see them while they are here. I think they will be much cuter in a few weeks, but still cute as is.

Andrew just got back from a week long hunting trip and shot (bow) a bull elk that scored 375...which is good, really good. I don't really speak that language, but I am really glad that he is home.

Being Honest, and rambling.

I know someone that often when I read their blog I think that they are fairly negative and the half-empty sort. Knowing that I don't prefer to read half-empty material, I try to keep mine upbeat and speak of the good things.

Today I am going to be honest. True to my thoughts and feelings that may honestly be considered half-empty. They may be judged.

This month Andrew and I will be blissfully and happily married for 3 years. Hoping to add a kid to the mix for 2. Many many times during the day I have to remind myself of the wonderful husband I have, the great jobs I have been blessed with, ward, family etc. I have to remind myself all the time because I am so obsessed with wanting to have a little baby that it consumes any spare thought that I might have.

I pretend every time I hear someone gets pregnant to smile and be civil. I truly am happy for those people...really I am. It doesn't make my situation any easier. At first I found it really easy to not be bitter. I wouldn't really consider myself bitter now, but I find myself withdrawing from friends and family who are so lucky to get their chances at parenthood. I purposely don't check blogs of friends that are moving into that phase of life (at what seems to be lightening speed). It is hard and I often feel left behind. Like the kid who didn't get invited to the party, but everyone else did.

My dog just had nine puppies (ha!) who would ever thought I would be jealous of my dog. Man I sound really pathetic. Count your many blessings name them one by one. They come when they are supposed to. Have faith and trust in God's plan for you. Pray for patience.

I don't want to belittle any trials that many of you may have, but just remember to be grateful for the little ones that you may have. There are many of us that would love to have some, so when you feel you are on your last straw....remember just how valuable that little person really is.

I found out today that two of my reading student had been offered cigarettes by their parents. One of them was pretending with his pencil. They are 6. I told them they should tell their parents to stop they will get so sick, and they said they had tried. It is amazing to look into those innocent little faces and realize the future that lies ahead of them when you hear these things. Ironic.

I'm tired of crying about it. Half of me still wants it so bad, and the other half is ready to give up. If I'm not trying then I can't be disappointed.

:) I always think of those stories where these valiant women suffer all these trials with no complaint....I guess I'm not trying very hard. I really should do better. It is probably that I am selfish and want this for myself. I shouldn't be thinking about myself so much. Maybe if I had something to distract me into selfless work....you know like a KID...(just kidding).

I'm not writing any of this for sympathy, mostly just to be honest with myself and not "pretend" that everything is sugar-coated and perfect. I am going to keep trying to better myself and not be so selfish in my thoughts and allow myself to wallow. Onward Christian Soldiers...Ask and ye shall receive, Knock and it shall be opened unto you.

Funny Story

Yesterday we had a lot of vegetables out of our garden for dinner and with that came a lot of compost that I put in a big silver bowl to take outside to the compost pile. It was about 10:30 or so before I got a chance to take it out, but I didn't want it sitting out in my kitchen all night getting old and smelly. I ventured out into the dark with my slippers and the big (church size) silver bowl to the garden. There is no light on that side of the house heading to the garden. My thoughts were confidant thinking "I'm feeling pretty good, I know where I am going I am comfortable and familiar here and am not scared of tripping or walking the wrong way or of what might come after me.". As I took my first step into the garden, knowing I was in the exact right spot and pretty happy about it, I sunk. I tripped forward plunging my second foot to catch my fall into the 6-9 inch mud. Someone (me), forgot to turn the water off when the were watering the cucumbers a few hours earlier and the nicely tilled SOFT dirt had now become a well...mud-pit. I chuckled as I realized how cocky I had just been and how stupid I now felt. With a giant silver bowl still in hand I tried to veer right to get out of the mud, just to find more mud. right even further, still no luck. One last step and I was out of the mud, but not unscathed. A slipper didn't make it. My red slippers with a pink heart were separated. One completed covered with mud, but on my foot and the other 6" under. I decided to just dump the compost anywhere and heading back for the house carefully missing the mud and scraping through pine trees in the process. I heaved the hose out of the garden and tried to spray off while I could, still laughing at myself and headed inside. I was certain to turn the water off. I checked this morning for my slipper....nowhere to be found on the surface, this is going to require some tiller work I think. My mud holes were so wet that they all filled in once my foot was removed, so that red and pink slipper was buried alive. It was funny.