I was thinking today that I haven't really had a post that said anything really about our lives much and hasn't really been anything I would put into a journal at all. They have been a little boring I guess I could say. This entry is supposed to remedy the situation, so without further ado....
Andrew's friends have been calling every once and a while to catch up or talk about things. It always surprises me how many calls he gets from old friends. He really doesn't make much effort to call any of them, but they always seem to keep in touch, I wonder what it is about him that they all want to stay friends. It is endearing. I could feel bad that my friends don't call me much, but then I remember how much I am on the computer either blogging or checking facebook or emails and realize the worlds of conversations that take place..online.
In Andrew's recent calls with his friends I have noticed a theme in their conversation, they all seem to be wondering why we don't have kids or if we are pregnant yet etc. I have been trying to be tough and patient with the whole getting pregnant process, but I admit it gets harder when I see someone get pregnant AND have their baby in the amount of time that I have been trying. And then their baby starts to crawl and they start asking again why we don't have kids. It wouldn't be hard if I knew what God's plan was, but I have to just sit and wait and try to be good.
Most of my family knows most of this, but I thought I would share with those that don't know; we have been off the pill since last November. It is hard to believe that it has already been over a year. We figured it would take a bit for the birth control to wear off and for us to be able to have a kid so we figured it would take up to about 7 months to get pregnant. We decided about February that we really needed to get on a good maternity insurance because with both of us working I knew we wouldn't qualify for any gov. program. We then had to wait until the beginning of June to be sure our insurance was effective. That brings us to today, 7 months trying WITH insurance and still no kid. I know this isn't completely unheard of and is surely NOTHING to complain about...and I am not yet worried about our ability to have kids. I feel like there is a plan for us and it isn't quite time yet. I felt that way this month and I honestly don't think it will be next either, but we try anyway.
I know that this is a conversation that many would not consider blog-worthy, but I think it is easier for me to have everyone know what our story is than to be surprised with questions that trigger an emotional chord. I don't really feel like I am desperate and would ask anyone to pray for us, but I certainly would love it if you did :).... Ask and you shall receive. Those of you that are really really good and keep all the commandments, if you would especially that would be great :) j/k.
I do want to add, last year I offered to do any custom art work for Christmas to help earn money for having a baby. We aren't in the same boat that we were then, but I do want to still throw that out there if anyone is interested. I also want to mention that I found an inexpensive way to print some of my work, so if you want any that are smaller (letter size page)
from my portfolio www.deannaleeshaw.blogspot.com I can get them for you at a relatively good price.
Lucky for us life is really good otherwise. We have really enjoyed this time we have together and have gotten a chance to grow closer and gotten to know each other. I am grateful for that and for the chance that this has given us to be more financially ready for kids. I also feel like Andrew is more ready all the time and will be a lot more excited for the day that it finally happens. Thank goodness for such a good husband or this would be much harder I'm sure. Well wish us luck!
11 comments:
I hear ya. Let me know if I can help at all. I am always around for a chat.
The time will come when it is right. I have friends that it took a few years. Maybe Heavenly Father is just waiting until his child up in Heaven is ready to leave.
Once you do have a little one of your own (speaking from experience) I can promise you that you will look back and understand why it took so long for you to get pregnant and be grateful for the experiences you've had along the way.
It took Kurt & me 3 1/2 years to get pregnant (Logan was born shortly after our 5th anniversary)...it was hard seeing friends who really didn't want to get pregnant having little ones left and right. We were always asked when we were going to have one.
We never felt good about looking into fertility treatments or adoption. Our answer was always you'll have your own...It was very frustrating waiting month after month, but eventually it came true, and now we have 2!
My advice would just be to follow the spirit and everything will work out. (My answer was quitting my job at Mountain West...with 5 months I was pregnant)
((*HUGS*)) The disappointment of trying to conceive and not being able to was one of the hardest things I've gone through, so my heart aches that you're having to go through the same thing! It's not easy every month to find out those feelings you were having were periods signs and not pregnancy signs, and it was so frustrating to me to hear people tell me to just relax and it will happen, or that it's God's will that it's taking so long. Those are both true things, but those truths don't make the pain any less. I think the thing that made it the easiest for me was to know that I was not alone and that infertility is more common then I thought. Be patient with people, though, because I don't think anyone ever says something to hurt you. People can just be in the dark about these things and not realize how hurtful it is to ask those questions. I think it was very wise of you to post this for that very reason. The more it is known that you ARE trying, the less hurtful questions you'll receive.
Anyways, I wish you the best of luck and we'll keep you in our prayers! ((HUGS)) Hang in there!!!
DeAnna, your post is too blogworthy. I'm not the best commandment keeper but I will pray for ya... every little bit helps hopefully! :)
I am so excited about the eastern leaves. I'll facebook email ya about some stuff!
I have to admit, I've wondered because I knew that you guys were trying last year, but I also know that asking questions can be hurtful. But I'm glad that you posted this so that I am aware of your situation and can pray for you. I know I don't call you, but I think about you and all of my other friends from back home a lot. I'm glad we have these blogs to keep up as well. By the way, thank you for your comment a little while back, that was very sweet.
It's really great that you have this time to really get to know Andrew and spend time with him. I got pregnant 3 months after marrying Eric and it's been a challenge to find the time and energy to spend with him one-on-one. He's only known me being pregnant, nursing, or taking the pill our whole marriage. Talk about hormones! I haven't really been able to be my total self for a long period of time.
Anyway, just ditto what the other people have said. The time will come when it's right and you will realize one day why it happened the way it did.
Hang in there:) I'm so glad you can share the burden of your disappointments with Andrew. He's not your only source though; I'm overwhelmed by the love and support you're receiving from your friends and family. We love you!
Oh Nanna. My heart aches for you too. I wish I was there to give you a big hug and just let you cry.
Of course I will - continue - to pray for you.
You are such a sweetheart DeAnna. I sure love you!
This just makes me cry. I love you. And, I pray for you.
The first thought I had as I read this was, "Poor Nanny. I wish I could make it all better." I'm sorry for the challenge and I know there really isn't much anyone can say that will make the struggle go away.
The other thought was from Elder Wirthlin's talk - "Come What May And Love It." You don't love it right now and I know you're trying to be understanding of the path you're on, but I promise, down the road you'll be able to feel exactly what Elder Wirthlin says, "come what may and love it!" Sometimes, it just takes being on the other side.
I’m sorry to hear this, But you know that it will happen when its time. Believe me, we didn’t want it to happen for us so fast, I was still on Birth control. Its been hard because we defiantly aren't prepared in any way! But God has plans for all of us, even if we don’t understand it right now. Love you and will pray for you guys. (I’m a good girl now) ;)
We are going to go through the temple in march. =) I want to do it in Logan but we will have to see, anyways if we do I would like it if you could come.
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