This is the topic question for the FFA (Friday Free for All). For those of you that aren't aware of this. My sister and some of her friends started this and every Friday they pick a topic and they all blog about it. This week, ME TOO!
What Family Holiday Tradition could I do without?
For the most part I couldn’t think of any, but there is one that could be considered a stretch as a “Family” tradition, but I have an argument that I believe quite convincingly settles my case.
MOTHERS DAY. Every Mothers Day everyone goes to church and listens to the speakers, who all talk about their mothers and quote that same scripture (you know which one I am talking about) and then after the sacrament they usually pass out a gift. This gift is usually in the form of a cheap flower or chocolate of some kind.
I do not love this. Ever since I graduated from high school this became a very uncomfortable tradition. It was always really awkward. Some wards they would have all the women 18 or older stand up while the primary passes them out. Others they would just pass them out. This year my ward actually had the mother’s pick up their own gift in the kitchen. Being that I am NOT a mother, and for some of those years, not even married, this was retarded to me. I am NOT a Mother, why should I get a gift for my wonderful nurturing and loving service when I haven’t exhibited any of these qualities to anyone (unless you count my puppies…and if you want to count my husband may I remind you that is what Valentines day is for). In the attempt to make me feel (not) left out they give one to me anyway. This year was particularly hard as I was not with my own Mother who was in Mexico, but I also spent church next to Andrew and having everything remind me of the constant fact that I am not a Mother..and wished I was. Picking up a flower and chocolate only rubs it in, reminds and makes you feel that by receiving this flower and chocolate you officially are pitied by every member in the ward who knows that you truly are missing out. It feels more like a funeral condolence than a rejoicing of Motherhood. NOW, I am sure the second I have a child, I will be glad to receive both, but I don’t think I will ever forget how many other “girls” in the ward are wanting to hide under a bush at that moment. Okay and I admit I am probably taking it too seriously and should chill out, but that was the topic and I pretty much had this whole argument figured out by the time I got home from church last Sunday.
NOW to my argument as to why I feel I can consider this a family tradition. My family crossed the plains (maternal and paternal lines), they settled Utah, they were among the early leaders of the church and they have all participated in this tradition every year since it existed. I don’t think there is a Mother in my entire family that has not received a flower, chocolate, or some kind of gift at church on Mother’s Day since the tradition existed, therefore it seems silly to think that it wouldn’t be a family tradition.
MOTHERS DAY. Every Mothers Day everyone goes to church and listens to the speakers, who all talk about their mothers and quote that same scripture (you know which one I am talking about) and then after the sacrament they usually pass out a gift. This gift is usually in the form of a cheap flower or chocolate of some kind.
I do not love this. Ever since I graduated from high school this became a very uncomfortable tradition. It was always really awkward. Some wards they would have all the women 18 or older stand up while the primary passes them out. Others they would just pass them out. This year my ward actually had the mother’s pick up their own gift in the kitchen. Being that I am NOT a mother, and for some of those years, not even married, this was retarded to me. I am NOT a Mother, why should I get a gift for my wonderful nurturing and loving service when I haven’t exhibited any of these qualities to anyone (unless you count my puppies…and if you want to count my husband may I remind you that is what Valentines day is for). In the attempt to make me feel (not) left out they give one to me anyway. This year was particularly hard as I was not with my own Mother who was in Mexico, but I also spent church next to Andrew and having everything remind me of the constant fact that I am not a Mother..and wished I was. Picking up a flower and chocolate only rubs it in, reminds and makes you feel that by receiving this flower and chocolate you officially are pitied by every member in the ward who knows that you truly are missing out. It feels more like a funeral condolence than a rejoicing of Motherhood. NOW, I am sure the second I have a child, I will be glad to receive both, but I don’t think I will ever forget how many other “girls” in the ward are wanting to hide under a bush at that moment. Okay and I admit I am probably taking it too seriously and should chill out, but that was the topic and I pretty much had this whole argument figured out by the time I got home from church last Sunday.NOW to my argument as to why I feel I can consider this a family tradition. My family crossed the plains (maternal and paternal lines), they settled Utah, they were among the early leaders of the church and they have all participated in this tradition every year since it existed. I don’t think there is a Mother in my entire family that has not received a flower, chocolate, or some kind of gift at church on Mother’s Day since the tradition existed, therefore it seems silly to think that it wouldn’t be a family tradition.
Disclaimer: I am fully aware of the good intentions intended when Mother's day gifts are extended to us Non-Mothers, and I am grateful for those that make the effort...it's not you, it's me.
7 comments:
LOL! I am so glad you joined us! That was too funny. I can't believe you had to pick up your own gift in the kitchen...!
Welcome Deanna! I hope you're sticking around longer than just this week!
The kitchen?!?! Oh, that's choice!
I have kids and I STILL hate standing up waiting for the deacons to bring around their something-or-other. Somehow it makes me feel like I'm starved for attention or something.
I also have to agree. I don't actually mind when we are at our own ward (I never stand up - if they want to give me a gift, they can figure it out while I am sitting down, ok?)but this year we were at Lorin's parents ward & the Young Men weren't sure if I were a mom or not - or over 18? I don't know, so yes, I felt awkward 7 months pregnant & with a 2 year old...on Mother's Day, not at my ward, not with my mom, not sure if I "deserved" a gift if I wasn't at my home ward. At least it was a long stem red rose - not like a gross eclaire in years past.
Deanna, welcome to FFA! And hey, I'm with you on this lame tradition. I always thought it was so ridiculous (mother or not) to get a flower . . .just one . . . with no chance of it either making it home in one piece. Even if it did, what am I supposed to do? Put that one crappy flower in a vase and hope it survives the rest of the day?
I will say that I was impressed with the choice of gift our ward gave this year (even though I think it should be just handed out as people leave -- how is it appropriate to have people stand up in sacrament meeting to receive gifts?? Anyway, our ward gave CDs this year. Kind of cool.
Hahahaha... I love this! Why? Because I'm a single member in her 30's that was accosted by the YW last Sunday and forced to take a hideous orange carnation for Mother's Day. Are you freaking kidding me? ...I mean, I'll give that I have a uterus and all - but a mother, I am not, and as such, have no need gifts. Now... chocolate would be one thing, but an ugly little flower? Really? I'd rather have some good chocolate as a consolation prize, if you know what I mean.
It was nice to hear someone else go off a bit on something that didn't quite make my day last Sunday, either. So, thanks. Reading that you had to pick yours up in the kitchen made me laugh out loud. Oh, too funny!
Ah, Mothers Day. I think for Mothers Day the ward should give the gift of having everyone who has kids be able to just sit and listen for a change while someone else watches their kids in a different room! lol I wasn't in my home ward for mother's day, and was without my husband, so I found myself in and out of sacrament with my two kids hardly catching a word that was being said about a day that was suppose to be celebrating what I was doing. I do think the thought of a gift on mother's day is nice, but I don't think people who aren't mother's should get it.
Oh, and I'm sorry for your sadness about not being a mom on mother's day. That's really hard! I watched my sister have a miserable day every mother's day for 8 years while she couldn't get pregnant, and I too had a horrible mother's day 3 years ago when I had just miscarried our first. It was tough. It will come, though, don't you worry! Enjoy quiet peaceful church meetings in the meantime! :)
I fully agree! I just joined the awkwardness of not being a mother and recieving a gift. This year our ward gave out books with cute little quotes and stories about mothers. If I have to go through the awkwardness of getting the gift, I think it should be chocolate so something good comes out of it!!
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