Wow

Deep Breath.  We got a call on Friday night that Chelsea was on her way, but she was having car trouble.  About Trinidad Colorado we checked her into a hotel.  Luckily there was a car place close to the hotel that took a quick look and made an assessment.  It came down to us needing to pick her up in Colorado.

Saturday morning was crazy as we made arrangements to get a respite sitter (foster certified) and then also arranged to have Grandma and Grandpa Lee watch Lizzy.  We were a little disappointed that we were missing Bean getting called a Bishop and being there for that, but couldn't be helped.  We also had to get a car trailer and then head to Trinidad Colorado.

Andrew and I had a lot of time to now talk things through and get our thoughts together about the situation.  While we were driving Chelsea called and wanted me to hear the tantrum that Mavrick was having.  She has been very concerned that we would be able to handle them.  I told her I wasn't concerned about my ability to handle him and that she needn't worry.  Although I was growing more and more worried about the trip back.....for good reason.

We stopped and stayed the night at Marcus and Christa's in Colorado Springs.  It was a little out of the way, but it was nice to see their place and where they lived.  We were there long enough to fill them in on the story and get a good nights sleep.   Avery was asleep the whole time so we didn't get to see her.

We headed out early the next morning to try and get to Chelsea as soon as we could.  It was clear, she was overwhelmed and not handling the kids well.  When we arrived they walked out of the hotel and gave us quick hugs.  We strapped everybody and the car up and headed on our way.  Andrew wasn't comfortable having Chelsea sit up front so she was in back with the kids.  She wanted to give us every detail about the kids and all kinds of tips about how to take care of them.  Within the first hour the tantrums began, Mavrick screamed and spit, stuck out his tongue.  Chelsea just argued with him and made it worse....much worse.  I told her she just needed to ignore him.  She asked if that was rude.  I said no, and that the attention she was giving him during the bad behavior was just making it worse and fueling the tantrum.  He started scratching his sister.  I finally reached back and asked for his hand.  Fully ready to hold him down, instead he calmed right down and held my hand for a minute.  Chelsea was shocked.  Frankly I was a little surprised too.

After the next stop she asked if we could trade seats so I could handle the kids.  We made the switch and things were better.  I wish I could say a lot better, but with Chelsea in the car it wasn't.  To make a long story short.  He broke every crayon, chucked them up front, screamed, spit, stuck out his tongue.  We heard mother F*&^ 4x in the ride home.  Chelsea and Andrew discussed a lot of the logistics on the way home.   I was really missing my Lizzy.    She said she knew she was the kids worst enemy.  She was clearly seeing that she was the problem.  When we took the kids inside to eat and potty, I was the Mom and she stayed outside and smoked. 

 They were actually pretty good for us when she wasn't there and at the food we told them to eat and sat where they were supposed to.  No tongues or swearing or screaming.

 This was the best part of the trip.   I was so ready to be home.  We hurried and picked up the kids from the foster sitter and then put them all to bed and then after that I had to hurry and get a sub for school Monday.

 The kids actually have been having a lot of fun together and haven't really had any problems.  Chelsea came over to our house and unloaded her car and got all her stuff sorted.  She wanted to sit together and go through all the keepsakes and momentos.  She kept everything including her positive pregnancy test and umbilical chords that fell off.

Mom and Dad showed up and I was so emotionally spent.  I broke down a cried a little.  The 11+ hours in the car with naughty kids and talking about a lot of hard topics and rearranging everything and trying to think about what I was going to do for school and the foster kids and my student teacher and my calling...I was overwhelmed. Mom and Dad gave me lots of hugs, helped with the kids and laundry, and were just there, which was the best part (makes me teary thinking about it).

Chelsea is staying in a hotel we got for her, we got her groceries and once her car was cleaned out and we went shopping she went back to the hotel.  Things have been better having her squared away.  She texts a lot and needs a few things here and there, but she hasn't been back to the house (which is okay with me, for kid reasons) .  She has already found a place to live in Billings, MT.

We found that we couldn't use the foster care home study, we needed to get a new one.  We then had a whole new world of things to think about.  Medical record checks, copies of marriage licenses, tax information, financial information, reference letters, background checks.  We also were waiting for the caseworker to find a new placement for the little guys.  We know this will be tricky because we were kind of a last resort the first time around.  I have no idea how long it will take for them to find a new placement for them.  We thought about keeping them because they are so cute and we have just fallen in love with them already, even though the thought makes me crazy.  We simply don't have the car space or the money to buy a new one.  I'm not sure I could do it either...I would need a nanny...(ha ha ironic...for those that don't know, my nickname at home is nanny...everyone calls me that).

 Lizzy also needed to go to the Dr.  It was good time to spend together because she was feeling the stress too.  She was all of the sudden having to share a lot of things and getting told no a lot more than normal, besides sharing attention from Mom and Dad.  The Dr. said she was in excellent health.   She also is wearing a green headband for St. Patrick's Day.   My class was so cute when I dropped her off at school after.  I went into my room to help the sub and say hi.  I got a lot of hugs and was happy to see them.  It is hard leaving them in someone else's hands.

 My house is a wreck!  I'm still not making enough food for everyone.  We have been doing laundry for 3 days straight. TOYS ARE EVERYWHERE!  Sigh...Alishia said "parents clean the most and you still can't tell".  I agree.

 This was captured mostly for Brynlee who was saying "daddies home, daddies home".  He got the Daddy name a lot quicker than I got mommy, but I still did get one from Brynlee today.

 Elizabeth has had fun playing with all the kids, she likes to read them stories and be the big sister.  She and Brynlee are very much alike.  Very girly, a little bossy and super loving.  Mavrick is sweet and mellow for the most part, he has just needed to learn to obey.  He actually has been a piece of cake since he got here and Mom left.  He is helpful and friendly.  I looked him in the eye the other day when we were talking about dressers.  I told him that we were going to put his stuff in Lizzy's old dresser.  He was wondering why.  I brought him close and said that he was going to be here for a while and be staying with us.  He asked why and I said because we wanted him here.  He smiled and gave me a sweet cheek to cheek hug and left to play. 

I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed today and even happy.  My house is still out of order, but I have a sub for the rest of the week and we were able to finalize the last detail for the home study.  They may be able to get our adoption finalized as early as next Tuesday....which will be awesome.   Andrew and I had seriously 10 minutes to decide what we wanted to change their names to.  We decided to keep their first names (which Chelsea really wanted).  They will be Mavrick Walter Shaw and Brynlee Carol Shaw.  Carol from my side and Walter from his.